MC 405 : Bookklok

Histoire de faire avancer les choses, j'ai trouvé ceci au hasard des mes navigations :
Ayant un anglais plutôt mauvais, je te laisse le soin de la traduction
Merci pour tout le travail effectué


1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:01,300
Thank you, Rio de Janeiro!

2
00:00:02,265 --> 00:00:04,215
You're the best dildos
in the world!

3
00:00:04,216 --> 00:00:06,587
On the drums, is Pickles, the drummer!

4
00:00:06,588 --> 00:00:10,868
If you need to take a $#!*,
now's the time, it's a drum solo!

5
00:00:10,869 --> 00:00:12,169
#%*& you!

6
00:00:12,170 --> 00:00:15,320
Your guitars solos coming up, Skwisgaar.
Can i haves it just this once?

7
00:00:15,321 --> 00:00:16,621
Huh, no?

8
00:00:16,622 --> 00:00:19,672
Please lets me do it tonight, i promised
the kitty cats at the hospitals

9
00:00:19,673 --> 00:00:21,373
that i would do the solos for'em.

10
00:00:21,374 --> 00:00:25,277
Huh, Tokis, you don'ts practice
the guitars evers.

11
00:00:25,278 --> 00:00:26,878
Please, i'm beggin's you!

12
00:00:26,879 --> 00:00:30,263
No ways, i ams the leads guitarist!
I ams does the solo!

13
00:00:30,264 --> 00:00:32,064
What abouts if i gaves you chocolates?

14
00:00:32,769 --> 00:00:34,069
Or pizza?

15
00:00:34,070 --> 00:00:36,735
#%*& yous, no!
Get outta my ways.

16
00:00:37,000 --> 00:00:40,074
Subtitles downloaded from Podnapisi.NET

17
00:01:08,921 --> 00:01:11,029
Say no to me, mother#%*&£@,
should you.

18
00:01:11,030 --> 00:01:13,030
Marks my words, i'm gets revenge!

19
00:01:13,031 --> 00:01:16,031
Sync: Nosferattu
twitter.com/nosferattu

20
00:01:16,032 --> 00:01:19,032
Translation: Linkerman

21
00:01:22,592 --> 00:01:26,895
I'll... Teach thee...
To... Rock.

22
00:01:27,952 --> 00:01:29,252
Dethklok, Dethklok!

23
00:01:29,253 --> 00:01:31,644
Skwisgaar Skwigelf,
taller than a tree.

24
00:01:31,645 --> 00:01:33,145
Toki Wartooth,
not a bumblebee.

25
00:01:34,217 --> 00:01:35,742
William Murderface,
Murderface, Murderface.

26
00:01:36,897 --> 00:01:38,197
Pickles the drummer, doodily doo.
Ding-dong, doodily, doodily, doo.

27
00:01:39,267 --> 00:01:40,567
Nathan Explosion.

28
00:01:44,419 --> 00:01:45,819
Season 4, Episode 5
Bookklok

29
00:01:48,056 --> 00:01:49,606
Dethklok guitarist, Toki Wartooth,

30
00:01:49,607 --> 00:01:51,738
has released a tell-all book, called

31
00:01:51,739 --> 00:01:53,556
Skwisgaar Is Ams Dick:

32
00:01:53,557 --> 00:01:55,457
The life of Toki, an abused guitarist.

33
00:01:55,458 --> 00:01:57,858
He has appeared everywhere
plugging his book.

34
00:01:57,859 --> 00:01:59,259
I have been livings in the shadow of a

35
00:01:59,260 --> 00:02:02,098
overbearing tyrants for ways too long!

36
00:02:02,099 --> 00:02:04,198
It makes me feels inadequates.

37
00:02:04,199 --> 00:02:09,652
He used to gives me compliments,
but now he calls me names like
"tone deafs" and "stupid hands".

38
00:02:09,653 --> 00:02:11,503
He used to says my hands ams skinnys,

39
00:02:11,504 --> 00:02:13,604
but now he says they ams
putting on wheights.

40
00:02:13,605 --> 00:02:16,405
...And i'm nots takin' it anymore,
i'm standin' ups for

41
00:02:16,406 --> 00:02:18,206
all the abused guitarists in the world!

42
00:02:19,182 --> 00:02:22,032
Toki Wartooth is climbing out from
behind the shadow of abuse,

43
00:02:22,033 --> 00:02:25,033
to be the highest selling rock'n'roll
author of all time.

44
00:02:25,034 --> 00:02:27,334
You go, Toki!
And that's the Dethklok Minute.

45
00:02:29,547 --> 00:02:31,547
Alright guys. We got a lot of work today,

46
00:02:31,548 --> 00:02:32,948
a lot of stuff to cover...

47
00:02:32,949 --> 00:02:35,456
Skwisgaar... Sorry, Charles.

48
00:02:35,457 --> 00:02:38,280
Skwisgaar, sorry about that book.

49
00:02:39,325 --> 00:02:41,181
Boy, but look at what i got today, guys.

50
00:02:41,182 --> 00:02:45,066
It's my defibrilator.
I bought it off SkyMall.

51
00:02:45,067 --> 00:02:46,367
Why do you need that?

52
00:02:46,368 --> 00:02:48,468
It's, huh, you know, to shock people,

53
00:02:48,469 --> 00:02:50,843
if they have a thing like a heart attack

54
00:02:50,844 --> 00:02:52,144
or if they're sleeping.

55
00:02:52,145 --> 00:02:54,987
But i bought it because it's
#%*&£@§ awesome!

56
00:02:54,988 --> 00:02:56,688
Murderface, help me work this thing.

57
00:02:56,689 --> 00:02:57,989
Guys, i don't think

58
00:02:57,990 --> 00:03:00,140
you should be messing around
with a defibrilator...

59
00:03:00,141 --> 00:03:02,041
God, would you butt out, please?

60
00:03:02,042 --> 00:03:04,042
I mean, God, don't let this guy
abuse you, Nathan.

61
00:03:04,043 --> 00:03:05,643
He's trying to control you,

62
00:03:05,644 --> 00:03:08,244
just like Skwisgaar did to Toki!
No offense, Skwisgaar.

63
00:03:08,245 --> 00:03:10,245
Now, what do you want me to do, Nathan?

64
00:03:10,246 --> 00:03:14,018
Just stand there...
Oh!, and say "clear!"

65
00:03:14,019 --> 00:03:16,390
Oh, awesome, like the doctors do on TV!

66
00:03:16,391 --> 00:03:17,691
Guys? Come on... Let's, let's not...

67
00:03:17,692 --> 00:03:18,992
Clear!

68
00:03:22,646 --> 00:03:23,946
Dude, that's pretty awesome!

69
00:03:23,947 --> 00:03:26,333
Man... Ow, ow... That's pretty awesome!

70
00:03:27,674 --> 00:03:29,457
Who the #%*& peed on me?

71
00:03:29,458 --> 00:03:31,575
I think YOU'RE the culprit

72
00:03:31,576 --> 00:03:34,604
in this particular mistery...

73
00:03:34,605 --> 00:03:37,155
How can i pee on myself
when i'm right here...?

74
00:03:37,156 --> 00:03:39,806
Skwisgaar, you're scheduled to play
the Guitarganza,

75
00:03:39,807 --> 00:03:42,157
which kicks off the norwegian
Ice Festival in Lillehammer,

76
00:03:42,158 --> 00:03:43,858
and you're gonna need to do

77
00:03:43,859 --> 00:03:45,209
a lot of promotional interviews,
so get ready for...

78
00:03:45,210 --> 00:03:47,860
Hey Skwisgaar, aren't you afraid that
the success

79
00:03:47,861 --> 00:03:50,911
of Toki's book it's kinda going to
ruin your career?

80
00:03:50,912 --> 00:03:52,512
I don't know...
- Yeah, aren't you afraid

81
00:03:52,513 --> 00:03:54,844
that Toki's book made you really look
like an asshole?

82
00:03:54,845 --> 00:03:58,180
When you kinda turn into, like,
kinda the Ike Turner of guitar?

83
00:04:03,107 --> 00:04:05,715
Gentlemen, it appears
as if Toki Wartooth

84
00:04:05,716 --> 00:04:09,127
has written a tell-all book
about Skwisgaar Skwigelf.

85
00:04:10,011 --> 00:04:11,311
Vater Orlaag?

86
00:04:11,312 --> 00:04:16,214
A tell-all book can highlight drunken
encounters, showcase abusive behaviour,

87
00:04:16,215 --> 00:04:20,173
and ultimately, prove bandmates to be
complete assholes.

88
00:04:20,174 --> 00:04:22,616
And eventually, tear the band apart.

89
00:04:22,617 --> 00:04:26,285
Gentlemen, we have another issue to
discuss: the Revengencers.

90
00:04:26,286 --> 00:04:31,327
We've received intel that they are
still active...

91
00:04:32,253 --> 00:04:35,266
This is the last place the Revengencers
were known to be.

92
00:04:35,267 --> 00:04:39,113
These brainwashed ex-Dethklok fans

93
00:04:39,114 --> 00:04:42,383
stayed hidden in the woods until they
ran out of food, and began

94
00:04:42,384 --> 00:04:44,376
devouring each other like dogs.

95
00:04:45,059 --> 00:04:47,174
Still missing is their leader.

96
00:04:47,175 --> 00:04:49,575
We believe it's a man
with a silver face,

97
00:04:49,576 --> 00:04:51,176
and several others are still alive.

98
00:04:51,177 --> 00:04:54,679
The attack will happen soon,
we'll have a secret weapon this time.

99
00:04:54,680 --> 00:04:57,308
Someone on the inside.

100
00:04:57,309 --> 00:04:58,609
Dethklok must die.

101
00:05:01,011 --> 00:05:03,161
Man, is this the best thing
in the world or what?

102
00:05:03,162 --> 00:05:05,462
Dude, it's great but, i don't know,
i'm kinda gettin' bored using it

103
00:05:05,463 --> 00:05:07,813
on eachother, maybe we should try
something else on.

104
00:05:07,814 --> 00:05:09,764
You think it'll work on other stuff?

105
00:05:10,932 --> 00:05:12,232
Huh... Yeah!?

106
00:05:26,786 --> 00:05:28,386
Maybe they're too dead.

107
00:05:28,387 --> 00:05:31,187
Yeah, can you guys bring us stuff
that's not as dead,

108
00:05:31,188 --> 00:05:32,488
you know, like, "freshly dead"?

109
00:05:33,656 --> 00:05:36,010
Skwisgaar Skwigelf falling from grace?

110
00:05:36,011 --> 00:05:37,361
Apparently, his approval ratings

111
00:05:37,362 --> 00:05:39,162
have plummeted to new lows,

112
00:05:39,163 --> 00:05:40,963
while Toki Wartooth's are flying high!

113
00:05:40,964 --> 00:05:42,264
On cloud nine!

114
00:05:42,265 --> 00:05:43,565
Fans had this to say:

115
00:05:43,566 --> 00:05:46,266
We all have bullies in our lives.
My mom's boyfriend

116
00:05:46,267 --> 00:05:47,867
#%*&$ my mom and eats our food.

117
00:05:47,868 --> 00:05:49,168
Are companies getting cold feet with the

118
00:05:49,169 --> 00:05:50,669
Skwigelf brand name?

119
00:05:50,670 --> 00:05:51,970
Yes they are!

120
00:05:51,971 --> 00:05:53,671
Now, for the Skwisgaar Skwigelf
Endorsement Deal

121
00:05:53,672 --> 00:05:56,372
Deth Watch: Guitaraid, the energy drink
for fast guitarists...

122
00:05:56,373 --> 00:05:59,173
Dead! The Shredder, the only 6.66 blade

123
00:05:59,174 --> 00:06:03,458
disposable razor... Dead!
And Skwoactiv Skwin Care,

124
00:06:03,459 --> 00:06:05,967
The anti-acne medication... Dead.

125
00:06:05,968 --> 00:06:08,618
Looks like scrambling companies
have found solace in

126
00:06:08,619 --> 00:06:11,484
Toki Wartooth's rising popularity.
He has picked up endorsements

127
00:06:11,485 --> 00:06:15,071
for Guitaraid, the Shredder, and
Tokactiv Tin Tare.

128
00:06:15,072 --> 00:06:18,072
Horrible abuser Skwisgaar Skwigelf
must be thanking

129
00:06:18,073 --> 00:06:20,023
his lucky stars he still has the
Guitarganza,

130
00:06:20,024 --> 00:06:23,968
at the norwegian Ice Festival.
And that's the Dethklok Minute.

131
00:06:23,969 --> 00:06:26,219
Oh hey, Skwisgaar, what are you doing,
goofing off, palling around?

132
00:06:26,220 --> 00:06:30,050
So you're getting ready for your big
Ice Festival Guitarganza thing,

133
00:06:30,051 --> 00:06:31,814
or whatever is called?

134
00:06:31,815 --> 00:06:36,241
Yeah, it's like, huh, i don't know...
It's like the only thing you got going
for you these days.

135
00:06:36,242 --> 00:06:39,547
Yeah pal, i heard they took away
all your endorsement stuff.

136
00:06:39,548 --> 00:06:41,148
- Oh, yeah.
- Oh, it's gotta be rough.

137
00:06:41,149 --> 00:06:44,508
This is like, the only thing
you have left.

138
00:06:44,509 --> 00:06:46,569
- Yeah.
- Ah, so sad.

139
00:06:46,570 --> 00:06:48,820
Yeah, it's so sad it's the only thing
you got goin' on for you.

140
00:06:48,821 --> 00:06:50,771
At least you got that, though, right?

141
00:06:50,772 --> 00:06:53,772
Huh, Skwisgaar, i have some bad news.
You're out of the Ice Festival.

142
00:06:53,773 --> 00:06:55,673
Huh, they want Toki.
Sorry, buddy.

143
00:06:59,744 --> 00:07:02,618
Hey, Skwisgaar.
Skwisgaar, did you hear that Toki's

144
00:07:02,619 --> 00:07:04,519
playing the Ice Festival instead of you?

145
00:07:05,650 --> 00:07:06,950
Clear!

146
00:07:10,129 --> 00:07:14,350
Skwisgaar, it appears as if someone
has peed your pants.

147
00:07:15,173 --> 00:07:18,110
Moves my ten o'clocks to 10 30s.
Moves my 10 30s to elevens, and

148
00:07:18,111 --> 00:07:21,011
moves my elevens to noons,
and my noons to next weeks,

149
00:07:21,012 --> 00:07:22,812
that will gives me 10 minutes for lunch,

150
00:07:22,813 --> 00:07:24,663
so you better not #%*& this up!

151
00:07:24,664 --> 00:07:25,964
Yes, sir.

152
00:07:29,182 --> 00:07:32,323
Tokis, i...
Really needs to talks to yous.

153
00:07:32,324 --> 00:07:34,724
Oh, look who ams waltzings back
into my life.

154
00:07:34,725 --> 00:07:36,718
What, so's you can abuse me more?

155
00:07:36,719 --> 00:07:39,959
Pencils him in for next weeks
or some $#!* like that.

156
00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:41,810
- Yes, sir.
- I need to talk to you now, Toki.

157
00:07:41,811 --> 00:07:45,449
I... Needs to gets my solos back
at the Ice Festivals.

158
00:07:45,450 --> 00:07:48,826
Wells, wells, wells, isn't this
a funny turns of events?

159
00:07:48,827 --> 00:07:50,227
I remembers askings yous

160
00:07:50,228 --> 00:07:51,878
for the same things, and you know
what you did?

161
00:07:51,879 --> 00:07:54,180
You laugheds at me!
- I don't laughs.

162
00:07:54,181 --> 00:07:57,778
You may not likes this, but i'ms
becomings empowereds!

163
00:07:57,779 --> 00:08:00,092
And the answers for you
in regards to your

164
00:08:00,093 --> 00:08:02,579
Ice Festival solo... Oooooh...

165
00:08:02,580 --> 00:08:03,880
It's no!

166
00:08:03,881 --> 00:08:05,181
#%*&$ no!

167
00:08:05,182 --> 00:08:07,932
It's really gots to rips
your guts out to see

168
00:08:07,933 --> 00:08:10,852
how successful and on tops i am.
Get used to it!

169
00:08:12,599 --> 00:08:14,304
Be carefuls what you wish fors!

170
00:08:14,305 --> 00:08:17,810
The audience ams
a fickles mistress, Toki.

171
00:08:17,811 --> 00:08:22,214
The audience ams a fickles mistress!

172
00:08:24,329 --> 00:08:26,422
Lillehammer, Norway

173
00:08:26,423 --> 00:08:29,478
And now, on lead guitar...

174
00:08:30,700 --> 00:08:32,347
Is amazing,

175
00:08:32,348 --> 00:08:35,135
abused guitarist,

176
00:08:35,136 --> 00:08:36,436
Toki Wartooth!

177
00:08:53,808 --> 00:08:55,108
What the #%*&!
- Booooo!

178
00:08:56,805 --> 00:08:58,152
Can't get it...

179
00:08:58,153 --> 00:09:00,457
Plug your guitar, you j@*&ass!

180
00:09:00,458 --> 00:09:01,758
I can'ts a gets it... I c'...

181
00:09:03,747 --> 00:09:05,260
You're blowing it!

182
00:09:07,129 --> 00:09:08,550
They're turning on me.

183
00:09:08,551 --> 00:09:11,783
The audience ams
a fickles mistress, Toki.

184
00:09:11,784 --> 00:09:15,568
The audience ams a fickles mistress!

185
00:09:15,569 --> 00:09:17,269
He's rights. The fickle mistress!

186
00:09:17,270 --> 00:09:18,570
You loser!

187
00:09:20,256 --> 00:09:22,992
Oh, my lefts arm...
My lefts arms don't wo...

188
00:09:22,993 --> 00:09:24,771
Oh, my chest, it's tight.

189
00:09:24,772 --> 00:09:28,203
I thinks i'm havin' a panics attack!

190
00:09:28,899 --> 00:09:30,849
I'm not a doctor, but i think
he's havin' a heart attack.

191
00:09:30,850 --> 00:09:33,700
There's gotta be some way to help him.

192
00:09:33,701 --> 00:09:36,551
- Yeah, there's gotta be a medic here to...
- I mean, that's what i'm sayin', yeah.

193
00:09:36,552 --> 00:09:38,152
It's a panics attack,
that's what it is!

194
00:09:38,950 --> 00:09:42,833
I mean, but how do you save someone
from having -- like, how do you
jumpstart, like, a heart and...

195
00:09:42,834 --> 00:09:44,134
Help me please, i'd like to know.

196
00:09:44,135 --> 00:09:46,472
Yeah, me too. Poor guy, look at him.

197
00:09:46,473 --> 00:09:49,832
- He seems fibrilated, and if we could just...
- Yeah, fibrilated.

198
00:09:49,833 --> 00:09:52,833
- ...try to de-fibrilate him, he...
- Yeah, he seems too fibrilly.

199
00:09:52,834 --> 00:09:55,084
Yeah, he seems over-fibrilated,
or something.

200
00:09:55,085 --> 00:09:58,085
If there's a way to un-fibrilate him,
like to de-febrilate him,

201
00:09:58,086 --> 00:10:01,624
you know, then we... Then we'd be talkin'.
Then we'd have something to talk about.

202
00:10:01,625 --> 00:10:02,925
I'll takes care of this!

203
00:10:05,588 --> 00:10:06,888
Holds on!

204
00:10:06,889 --> 00:10:08,189
Come back, Toki. Come back!

205
00:10:08,190 --> 00:10:10,940
I'm havings a panic attack,
nots a heart attack!

206
00:10:10,941 --> 00:10:12,825
Clears!

207
00:10:12,826 --> 00:10:14,548
Comes backs to me, gods dammits!

208
00:10:14,549 --> 00:10:15,849
Comes backs to me's!

209
00:10:15,850 --> 00:10:17,150
Clears!

210
00:10:18,798 --> 00:10:21,510
Clears!
Clears!

211
00:10:54,661 --> 00:10:56,701
On the next new Metalocalypse:

212
00:10:56,702 --> 00:10:59,869
Dethklok is in a brutal
third-world country.

213
00:10:59,870 --> 00:11:03,635
Maybe if you haven't destroyed
the record, in the first place,

214
00:11:03,636 --> 00:11:05,386
we wouldn't be here!

215
00:11:05,387 --> 00:11:08,675
- I said i was sorry!
- No you didn't ever say...

216
00:11:08,676 --> 00:11:11,312
It was implied!

217
00:11:11,313 --> 00:11:15,311
- I'd like to add to the record...
- You know that i have

218
00:11:15,312 --> 00:11:17,358
an apology problem!

219
00:11:18,600 --> 00:11:19,900
Get in the van!

220
00:11:19,901 --> 00:11:21,201
All of you!

221
00:11:21,202 --> 00:11:24,048
New Metalocalypse
Next Sunday at 12:15

222
00:11:25,000 --> 00:11:28,095
Download Movie Subtitles Searcher from [Vous devez être inscrit et connecté pour voir ce lien]

Comme promis j'ai eu vite fait le temps de revoir les conneries que j'avais faites dans ma trad, je la trouve bcp plus fluide et compréhensible.
Je la joint en .doc dans le message.

FREEBALLING !!!!

Pas de problème, c'est meme tout a fait normal, faut garder une certaine continuité, et j'ai jamais di que ma traduction était parfaite non plus. J'espere juste que ca permet de faire avancer les chose because I'll "do anything for Dethklok".

Sinon pour superjail comme marqué dans le forum j'suis pas super fan, mais si y a besoin d'un ti coup de boost sur les trads (si ya kelkes épisodes de retards, je suis pas contre).

Freeballing.

Voilà le final, je diffuse =)

1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:01,300
Merci, Rio de Janeiro !

2
00:00:02,265 --> 00:00:04,215
Vous êtes les meilleurs blaireaux
du monde !

3
00:00:04,216 --> 00:00:06,587
A la batterie, Pickles,
le batteur !

4
00:00:06,588 --> 00:00:10,868
Si vous avez besoin de poser une pêche,
c'est le moment, c'est un solo de batterie !

5
00:00:10,869 --> 00:00:12,169
Va te faire foutre !

6
00:00:12,170 --> 00:00:15,320
C'est ton solo de guitare, Skwisgaar.
je peux le faire juste une fois ?

7
00:00:16,622 --> 00:00:19,672
Laisse-moi le faire ce soir,
j'ai promis aux chatons de l'hôpital

8
00:00:19,673 --> 00:00:21,373
que je le jouerai pour eux.

9
00:00:21,374 --> 00:00:25,277
T'as jamais vraiment jouer de la guitare.

10
00:00:25,278 --> 00:00:26,878
Je t'en supplie...

11
00:00:26,879 --> 00:00:30,263
Pas moyen, je suis la guitare lead !
Je fais les solos !

12
00:00:30,264 --> 00:00:34,064
Et si je te file du chocolat ?
Ou de la pizza ?

13
00:00:34,070 --> 00:00:36,735
Va te faire foutre !
Lâche-moi.

14
00:01:08,921 --> 00:01:13,029
Me dire non, enculé...
Je le promets, j'aurai ma revanche !

15
00:01:13,850 --> 00:01:20,031
Loky, AlBangee,
Hell's, Natsu2a

16
00:01:22,532 --> 00:01:29,032
<b><u>WATCHIT-V2</u></b>
<i>Pour le Forum Spanky Team</i>

17
00:01:40,932 --> 00:01:44,832
<u>MC 405 :</u>
Bookklok

28
00:01:45,419 --> 00:01:46,000
<b>HAVE FUN !!!</b>

29
00:01:48,056 --> 00:01:49,606
Le guitariste de Dethklok,
Toki Wartooth,

30
00:01:49,607 --> 00:01:51,738
a sorti un livre qui nous dira tout,
appelé

31
00:01:51,739 --> 00:01:55,457
<i>Skwisgaar est une bite :
la vie de Toki, guitariste abusé.</i>

33
00:01:55,458 --> 00:01:57,858
Il va partout pour vendre son livre.

34
00:01:57,859 --> 00:02:02,098
J'ai vécu dans l'ombre d'un tyran
autoritaire trop longtemps !

36
00:02:02,099 --> 00:02:04,198
Je ne me sens pas à la hauteur.

37
00:02:04,199 --> 00:02:09,652
Il me complimentait, mais maintenant il
m'appelle 'sourdingue' ou 'mains grotesques'.

38
00:02:09,653 --> 00:02:11,503
Il me disait que mes mains
étaient fines,

39
00:02:11,504 --> 00:02:13,604
maintenant il dit qu'elles
sont bouffies.

40
00:02:13,605 --> 00:02:15,405
Je n'en supporterai pas plus..

41
00:02:15,406 --> 00:02:18,206
Je me lève pour tous les
guitaristes abusés du monde !

42
00:02:19,182 --> 00:02:22,032
Toki Wartooth sort de l'ombre de l'abus,

43
00:02:22,033 --> 00:02:25,033
pour devenir le rocker qui vends
le plus de livres de tous les temps.

44
00:02:25,034 --> 00:02:27,334
Vas-y, Toki !
C'était la minute Dethklok.

45
00:02:29,547 --> 00:02:32,948
Bien les gars. On a beaucoup de travail
aujourd'hui, des trucs à organiser...

47
00:02:32,949 --> 00:02:35,456
Skwisgaar...
Pardon, Charles.

48
00:02:35,457 --> 00:02:38,280
Skwisgaar, désolé pour c e livre.

49
00:02:39,325 --> 00:02:41,181
Mais matez ce que j'ai là.

50
00:02:41,182 --> 00:02:45,066
C'est mon défibrilateur.
Je l'ai acheté à Franprix.

51
00:02:45,067 --> 00:02:46,367
Pourquoi t'as besoin de ça ?

52
00:02:46,368 --> 00:02:52,144
C'est pour électrocuter les gens, s'ils
ont genre une attaque, ou s'ils dorment.

55
00:02:52,145 --> 00:02:54,987
Mais je l'ai acheté parce que c'est
carrément mortel !

56
00:02:54,988 --> 00:02:56,688
Murderface, aide-moi avec ce truc.

57
00:02:56,689 --> 00:02:59,140
Vous ne devriez pas jouer
avec ce défibrilateur...

59
00:02:59,141 --> 00:03:01,341
Merde, vous pourriez pas nous lâcher ?

60
00:03:01,342 --> 00:03:04,042
Sans déc, ne laisse pas ce type
te décourager, Nathan.

61
00:03:04,043 --> 00:03:06,643
Il veut juste te contrôler,
comme Skwisgaar avec Toki !

62
00:03:06,644 --> 00:03:08,244
Sans vouloir t'offenser, Skwisgaar...

63
00:03:08,245 --> 00:03:10,245
Tu veux que je fasse quoi, Nathan ?

64
00:03:10,246 --> 00:03:14,018
Reste simplement là et...
Et dit "dégagez" !

65
00:03:14,019 --> 00:03:16,390
Mortel, comme les docteurs à la télé !

66
00:03:16,391 --> 00:03:17,691
Sans déc, les mecs...
Ne faites pas...

67
00:03:17,692 --> 00:03:18,992
Dégagez !

68
00:03:22,646 --> 00:03:23,946
Mec, c'est vachement sympa !

69
00:03:23,947 --> 00:03:26,333
Mec... C'est vachement sympa !

70
00:03:27,674 --> 00:03:29,457
Bordel qui m'a pissé dessus ?

71
00:03:29,458 --> 00:03:34,064
Je crois que TU es le coupable
de ce mystère si particulier.

73
00:03:34,605 --> 00:03:37,155
Comment je pourrai me pisser dessus
en étant ici ?

74
00:03:37,156 --> 00:03:39,806
Skwisgaar, tu es prévu pour jouer
au <i>Guitarganza</i>,

75
00:03:39,807 --> 00:03:42,157
qui ouvre le festival norvégien
de la glace, à Lillehammer,

76
00:03:42,158 --> 00:03:45,209
et tu devras faire pas mal d'interview,
sois prêt...

78
00:03:45,210 --> 00:03:50,911
Skwisgaar, t'as pas peur que le succès du
livre de Toki ruine ta carrière ?

80
00:03:50,912 --> 00:03:54,844
T'as pas peur que ce livre
te fasse passer pour un connard fini ?

82
00:03:54,845 --> 00:03:58,180
Tu seras comme...
Le Ike Turner de la guitare ?

83
00:04:03,107 --> 00:04:05,715
Messieurs, il semblerait que
Toki Wartooth

84
00:04:05,716 --> 00:04:09,127
a écrit un livre qui dit tout sur
Skwisgaar Skwigelf.

85
00:04:10,011 --> 00:04:11,311
Vater Orlaag ?

86
00:04:11,312 --> 00:04:16,214
Ce livre peut mettre en lumière ses aventures
alcoolisées, ses comportement abusifs en scène,

87
00:04:16,215 --> 00:04:20,173
et finalement montrer au groupe que
ce ne sont que des trous de balle.

88
00:04:20,174 --> 00:04:22,616
Eventuellement, déchirer le groupe.

89
00:04:22,617 --> 00:04:26,285
Messieurs, nous devons également parler
des <i>Revengencers</i>.

90
00:04:26,286 --> 00:04:31,327
Des informations montrent qu'ils sont
toujours actifs...

91
00:04:32,253 --> 00:04:35,266
Voici l'endroit où ils ont été vus
la dernière fois.

92
00:04:35,267 --> 00:04:39,113
Ces anciens fans de Dethklok, à qui
on a lavé le cerveau,

93
00:04:39,114 --> 00:04:42,383
sont restés cachés dans les bois
jusqu'à la famine,

94
00:04:42,384 --> 00:04:44,376
puis se sont entre-dévorés
comme des chiens.

95
00:04:45,059 --> 00:04:47,174
Leur leader est toujours introuvable.

96
00:04:47,175 --> 00:04:49,575
Nous pensons que c'est un homme
portant un masque d'argent,

97
00:04:49,576 --> 00:04:51,176
et plusieurs d'entre eux
sont toujours vivants.

98
00:04:51,177 --> 00:04:54,679
L'attaque est prévue sous peu,
nous avons une arme secrète cette fois.

99
00:04:54,680 --> 00:04:57,308
Quelqu'un de l'intérieur.

100
00:04:57,309 --> 00:04:58,609
Dethklok doit mourir.

101
00:05:01,011 --> 00:05:03,161
C'est pas le meilleur truc
au monde ?

102
00:05:03,162 --> 00:05:05,462
C'est sympa, mais ca m'emmerde
de m'en servir que sur nous,

103
00:05:05,463 --> 00:05:07,813
on pourrait l'utiliser
sur autre chose.

104
00:05:07,814 --> 00:05:09,764
Tu crois que ca marcherait ?

106
00:05:26,786 --> 00:05:28,386
Il est sans doute trop mort.

107
00:05:28,387 --> 00:05:31,187
Ouais, tu pourrais nous ramener des
trucs pas aussi morts,

108
00:05:31,188 --> 00:05:32,488
genre... "fraîchement morts" ?

109
00:05:33,656 --> 00:05:36,010
Skwisgaar Skwigelf tombe-t-il en disgrâce ?

110
00:05:36,011 --> 00:05:39,162
Apparemment, sa cote de popularité
est tombée au plus bas,

112
00:05:39,163 --> 00:05:40,963
pendant que celle de
Toki Wartooth s'envole !

113
00:05:40,964 --> 00:05:43,565
Sur Cloud 9, les fans déclaraient ceci :

115
00:05:43,566 --> 00:05:45,666
Nous avons tous de bourreaux
dans nos vies.

116
00:05:45,767 --> 00:05:47,867
Le petit ami de ma mère la baise
et dévalise la bouffe.

117
00:05:47,868 --> 00:05:50,669
Les compagnies délaissent-elles
la marque <i>Skwigelf</i> ?

119
00:05:50,670 --> 00:05:51,970
Tout à fait !

120
00:05:51,971 --> 00:05:53,971
Tous ses contrats publicitaires
Deth Watch:

121
00:05:53,972 --> 00:05:57,572
<i>Guitaraid</i>, la boisson énergétique
pour guitaristes rapides... Fini !

122
00:05:57,573 --> 00:06:01,473
<i>Le Shredder</i>, le seul rasoir jetable
à 666 lames... Fini !

123
00:06:01,474 --> 00:06:05,967
Et <i>Skwoactiv Skwin Care</i>,
la lotion anti-acné... Fini !

125
00:06:05,968 --> 00:06:09,618
Ces compagnies ont finalement trouvé une
autre icône à la popularité croissante,

126
00:06:09,619 --> 00:06:11,484
Toki Wartooth, qui a décroché
les contrats pour

127
00:06:11,485 --> 00:06:15,071
<i>Guitaraid, le Shredder</i>,
et <i>Tokactiv Tin Tare</i>.

128
00:06:15,072 --> 00:06:18,872
L'horrible Skwisgaar Skwigelf doit
remercier sa bonne étoile

129
00:06:18,873 --> 00:06:20,023
d'être encore prévu au <i>Guitarganza</i>,

130
00:06:20,024 --> 00:06:23,968
au festival Norvégien de la glace.
C'était la minute Dethklok.

131
00:06:23,969 --> 00:06:26,219
Skwisgaar, tu fais quoi, une balade,
mon pote ?

132
00:06:26,220 --> 00:06:30,050
Tu te prépares pour le grand <i>guitarganza</i>,
au festival de la glace,

133
00:06:30,051 --> 00:06:31,814
ou peu importe son nom ?

134
00:06:31,815 --> 00:06:36,241
Ouais, c'est un peu la seule chose
que tu peux faire ces temps-ci.

135
00:06:36,242 --> 00:06:39,547
Mec, j'ai entendu que t'as perdu
toutes des pubs.

136
00:06:39,548 --> 00:06:41,148
Ca doit faire mal !

137
00:06:41,149 --> 00:06:44,508
C'est la dernière chose qu'il te reste.

138
00:06:44,509 --> 00:06:46,569
Trop triste.

139
00:06:46,570 --> 00:06:48,820
Trop triste que ce soit le dernier
truc qui t'appartienne.

140
00:06:48,821 --> 00:06:50,771
Au moins il te reste un truc, hein ?

141
00:06:50,772 --> 00:06:53,772
Skwisgaar, mauvaise nouvelle...
Tu es viré du festival de la glace.

142
00:06:53,773 --> 00:06:55,673
Ils veulent Toki.
Navré...

143
00:06:59,744 --> 00:07:04,519
Skwisgaar, t'as entendu que Toki va jouer
à ta place au festival de la glace ?

145
00:07:05,650 --> 00:07:06,950
Dégagez !

146
00:07:10,129 --> 00:07:14,350
Skwisgaar, on dirait que quelqu'un
a pissé dans ton froc.

147
00:07:15,173 --> 00:07:18,110
Déplacez mes rendez-vous de 10h00 à 10h30.
ceux de 10h30 à 11h00,

148
00:07:18,111 --> 00:07:21,011
ceux de 11h00 à midi,
et ceux de midi à la semaine prochaine,

149
00:07:21,012 --> 00:07:24,663
ca me laissera 10 minutes pour déjeuner,
alors faites pas tout foirer !

151
00:07:24,664 --> 00:07:25,264
Oui, Monsieur.

152
00:07:29,182 --> 00:07:32,323
Toki, je voudrais vraiment
te parler...

153
00:07:32,324 --> 00:07:34,724
Regardez qui veut revenir participer
à ma vie !

154
00:07:34,725 --> 00:07:36,718
Pour que tu te foutes encore de moi ?

155
00:07:36,719 --> 00:07:39,959
Prévoyez un entretien la semaine prochaine,
ou une merde du genre.

156
00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:41,810
- Oui, Monsieur.
- Je dois te parler maintenant, Toki.

157
00:07:41,811 --> 00:07:45,449
Je dois récupérer mes solos
au festival de la glace.

158
00:07:45,450 --> 00:07:48,826
Et bien et bien et bien...
La situation n'est-elle pas ironique ?

159
00:07:48,827 --> 00:07:51,878
Je me rappelle t'avoir demandé la même
chose, et qu'avais-tu répondu ?

161
00:07:51,879 --> 00:07:54,180
- Tu m'as ri au nez !
- Je ne ris jamais.

162
00:07:54,181 --> 00:07:57,778
T'aimes sans doute pas ça,
mais je deviens puissant !

163
00:07:57,779 --> 00:08:02,579
Et la réponse pour tes solos
du festival de la glace...

165
00:08:02,580 --> 00:08:05,181
C'est non !
Putain de non !

167
00:08:05,182 --> 00:08:07,932
Ca doit te déchirer les tripes
de voir

168
00:08:07,933 --> 00:08:10,852
que j'ai du succès et que je suis au top !
Prends-en l'habitude !

169
00:08:12,599 --> 00:08:14,304
Fais gaffe à ce que tu souhaites !

170
00:08:14,305 --> 00:08:17,810
Le public est une maîtresse capricieuse.

171
00:08:17,811 --> 00:08:22,214
Le public est une maîtresse capricieuse...

172
00:08:24,329 --> 00:08:26,422
<i>Lillehammer, Norvège</i>

173
00:08:26,423 --> 00:08:29,478
Et maintenant, à la guitare lead...

174
00:08:30,700 --> 00:08:32,347
L'incroyable,

175
00:08:32,348 --> 00:08:35,135
le maltraité,

176
00:08:35,136 --> 00:08:36,436
Toki Wartooth !

177
00:08:53,808 --> 00:08:55,108
C'est quoi ce bordel !

178
00:08:56,805 --> 00:08:58,152
Je pige pas...

179
00:08:58,153 --> 00:09:00,457
<i>Branche ta guitare, crétin !</i>

180
00:09:00,458 --> 00:09:01,758
Je comprends pas...

181
00:09:03,747 --> 00:09:05,260
<i>Tu te chies dessus !</i>

182
00:09:07,129 --> 00:09:08,550
Ils se retournent contre moi...

183
00:09:08,551 --> 00:09:11,783
<i>Le public est une maîtresse capricieuse.</i>

184
00:09:11,784 --> 00:09:15,568
<i>Le public est une maîtresse capricieuse.</i>

185
00:09:15,569 --> 00:09:17,269
Il a raison.
Une maîtresse capricieuse !

186
00:09:17,270 --> 00:09:18,570
<i>Loser !</i>

187
00:09:20,256 --> 00:09:22,992
Mon bras gauche...
Il marche plus...

188
00:09:22,993 --> 00:09:24,771
Ma poitrine...
Ca sert...

189
00:09:24,772 --> 00:09:28,203
Je crois que c'est une crise d'angoisse !

190
00:09:28,899 --> 00:09:30,849
Je suis pas docteur, mais je crois
qu'il fait une attaque.

191
00:09:30,850 --> 00:09:32,700
Il faut qu'on l'aide...

192
00:09:32,701 --> 00:09:36,551
- Y'aurait pas un médecin dans la salle ?
- Je me demandais la même chose...

193
00:09:36,552 --> 00:09:38,152
C'est une crise d'angoisse, c'est tout !

194
00:09:38,950 --> 00:09:42,833
Comment aider quelqu'un qui...
Comment relancer un truc comme le coeur...

195
00:09:42,834 --> 00:09:44,134
Aidez-moi, je voudrais savoir...

196
00:09:44,135 --> 00:09:46,472
Moi aussi.
Pauvre gars, regardez-le...

197
00:09:46,473 --> 00:09:49,832
- Il a l'air fébrile, si on pouvait juste...
- Ouais, fébrile...

198
00:09:49,833 --> 00:09:52,833
- Essaie de le dé-fébriler...
- Il semble vachement fébrile.

199
00:09:52,834 --> 00:09:55,084
Ouais, il a l'air over-fébrile, genre...

200
00:09:55,085 --> 00:09:58,085
Si y'avait un moyen de retirer cette fébrilité,
genre de le dé-fébriler...

201
00:09:58,086 --> 00:10:01,624
Alors... On saurait comment faire.

202
00:10:01,625 --> 00:10:02,925
Je m'en charge !

203
00:10:05,588 --> 00:10:06,888
Attention !

204
00:10:06,889 --> 00:10:08,189
Reviens, Toki.
Reviens!

205
00:10:08,190 --> 00:10:10,940
J'ai une crise de panique,
pas une crise cardiaque !

206
00:10:10,941 --> 00:10:11,825
Dégagez !

207
00:10:12,826 --> 00:10:14,548
Reviens, bordel de merde !

208
00:10:14,549 --> 00:10:15,849
Reviens vers moi !

209
00:10:15,850 --> 00:10:17,150
Dégagez !

210
00:10:18,798 --> 00:10:21,510
Dégagez !
Dégagez !

211
00:10:27,961 --> 00:10:53,901
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